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Episode 228: Courtship Dimensions

In this episode, Jackie talks about the first six of twelve of the dimensions of courtship as outlined by Dr. Patrick Carnes.  We do not spend enough time talking about how healthy relationships come about.  Is it by chance? Is it luck? Do some people know a secret that so many others do not know? Healthy relationships don't happen by chance or by luck.  And if your history of relationships doesn't trend in the right direction, there are things we can change and practice in order to be a part of healthy relationships that grow and evolve over time.  

 

Episode 227: Forgiving Ourselves and claiming our healing

In this episode, Jackie wraps up discussing the book The Tao of Fully Feeling. This is where the dots are connected and we begin to see the path forward for ourselves.  A path that involves forgiving ourselves for our part in carrying the dysfunction forward.  We can now begin to see how our relationships can be different.  How we can make amends, we can take responsibility for our actions, without taking more responsibility than is ours, and how we can take this forward into our lives and our relationships.  

Episode 226: The Limits of Forgiveness

In this episode, Jackie continues to work through the book The Tao of Fully Feeling.  The author has reminded us throughout the book of our society's need to rush forgiveness as a bypass for feeling and operating in reality.  In this episode, we look at extenuating circumstances that our parents may have been dealing with.  We aren't exploring these circumstances as a way of "letting them off the hook" because that would mean the shame resides with us.  It is a way of taking a step back from what we experienced and getting a larger view of what life was like for our parents.  This can actually help reduce shame as it begins to dawn on us that this was never about us.  It wasn't about us being too much, or not enough or us just being a child. 

Episode 225: Compassionate Reparenting

In this episode, Jackie continues her discussion of The Tao of Fully Feeling.  In this episode, we start looking at what we can do.  Once we have become more aware of our dysfunctional childhood and our maladaptive coping skills, once we have grieved the loss and expressed what was repressed, where do we go next? In this episode, we look at how we can reparent our inner child.  Offering him/her what they were denied.  What their hearts longed for and what is long past due. 

 

Episode 224: Blame and Forgiveness

In this continuing discussion about the book The Tao of Fully Feeling by Pete Walker, we talk about blame as part of the grieving process.  And how blame is not the stigmatized emotion that we are taught to banish and opt for self-responsibility.  Instead, it is an organic, natural part of ourselves that leads to self-protection, healthy boundaries, and ultimately true forgiveness to our parents for the abuse and neglect from our childhood.

Episode 223: Decreasing Defense Mechanisms

There are four key ways that children protect themselves from being overwhelmed by the emotional pain of prolonged abuse and neglect.  We call these defense mechanisms, and they typically have an expiration date.  They can be effective in protecting children through traumatic childhoods, but at some time they will stop working.  At this point, we can develop new, advanced defense mechanisms or we can face the trauma and explore how it is impacting our adult lives.  

Episode 222: Four Essentials to Grieving

In this episode, Jackie talks about chapter 5 in The Tao of Fully Feeling.  Often when we think of grieving, we think of being sad, maybe crying.  Or we think of the stages of grief developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.  In this chapter, author Pete Walker expands on essentials to grieving as we explore childhood trauma.  

Episode 221: A Current Cost of Emotional Repression

In this bonus episode, Jackie talks about how the learnings from Pete Walker's book The Tao of Fully Feeling may have messages for the current strife and social fears we are experiencing in our world today. 

 

Episode 220: The Gifts of Grieving

In this episode Jackie continues her series discussing the book The Tao of Fully Feeling by Pete Walker. In this episode we cover chapter 2 & 3 from the book and talk about the Fundamental Dynamics of Emotional Nature and the Gifts of Grieving. 

Episode 219: Fully Feeling

In this episode, Jackie talks about the introduction, and chapters one and two of Pete Walker's book The Tao of Fully Feeling.  This is the first book of our TFS Bookclub.  In this episode, we cover how we lose our ability to fully feel.  What the cost is to us and how we cope when we cannot fully feel.  We also talk about how starting to feel will connect us with grief and loss. Two ways we avoid feeling and grieving are to rush forgiveness or to become perfect.