In this episode, Jackie interviews Michelle Mays about healing from betrayal trauma. Michelle founded the Center for Relational Recovery, a counseling and training center focused on providing leading-edge treatment to sex addicts, partners of sex addicts, trauma survivors, and those struggling with relationship issues. Michelle's work is grounded in the work that all change happens in relationship and that our attachment to others is both the most meaningful and at times the most challenging parts of our lives.
In this episode Jackie responds to a listener's questions related to trauma responses. Knowing and understanding what yours are is an important step in managing them when they get triggered.
In this episode Jackie talks about the line from Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karinnana "Happy Families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." What does this mean? And how can we learn to be happy, be relational and have connection and vulnerability in our relationships?
We all have experiences where a situation triggers a trauma response in us. Something from the past feels as though it is happening again in our present. Our body responds, our thoughts and feelings follow and we are in a trauma response. What can we do to shorten the time spent in trauma response? How can we work our way out of our trauma response and back into our current time where we have options and resources?
In this episode Jackie talks about the pain of betrayal trauma. Betrayal trauma has a significant impact on both the brain and the nervous system of the betrayed partner and makes it difficult for them to return to a state of calm and safety. Included are steps for healing betrayal trauma.
In this episode, Jackie talks about the practice of Sabbath. Of consecrating a time each week for rest, renewal, and delight. Sabbath is more than the absence of work; it is not just a day off when we catch up on television or errands. It is the presence of something that arises when we consecrate a period of time to listen to what is most deeply beautiful, nourishing, or true. It is time consecrated with our attention, our mindfulness, honoring those quiet forces of grace or spirit that sustain and heal us.
In this episode Jackie talks about Maslow's hierarchy of human needs that dictate a person's behavior. Jackie talks about the belief window that figuratively sits in front of our face and also dictates the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world we live in. If we are looking to change behavior, it starts with changing the beliefs that sit on this belief window.
In this episode, Jackie talks about moving beyond sobriety into optimal recovery. Often this is a lifelong process. A corrective emotional experience is required for previous traumatic or dysfunctional critical events that were maladaptively processed and resulted in addiction or other coping mechanisms.
In this episode Jackie talks about the continuum of strategies for getting what I want and need and balancing the health of the relationship. This dynamic comes up in our romantic relationships as well as with our kids, our friends and extended family relationships. There are strategies we can employ to get what we want or need that are relationship constructive and there are strategies that are relationship destructive.