Thanks for Sharing

The deepest injury of narcissistic neglect isn't what happened to you. It's what never consistently happened for you. Nobody wondering what you were thinking. Nobody asking what you felt. Nobody staying curious about who you were becoming.

And when those thousands of small moments are largely absent, something else develops in their place. Not a self. An adaptation. An identity organized around keeping the peace, managing moods, and becoming whoever the room needed you to be.

If you grew up wondering why you can't answer simple questions about yourself — what you want, what you like, what you feel,  this episode is for you.

Today I'm talking about what narcissistic neglect actually does to a developing child, why it so often comes from mothers and goes unrecognized, what develops instead of a healthy sense of self, and why the conversation you want to have with your parent rarely gives you what you're hoping for.

Development doesn't end in childhood. And healing isn't becoming someone different — it's finally uncovering the person who never had enough room to emerge. 

 Link in bio.

 

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

#narcissisticneglect #adultchildrenofnarcissists #attachmenthealing #emotionalneglect #narcissisticmother #therapy #selfhealing #childhoodtrauma #mentalhealth #innerchild

In this episode, Rachel joins Jackie as they dive into the intricacies of early recovery in therapy. In this episode, they discuss the foundational stages of addiction recovery, focusing on the challenges faced by individuals new to therapy.  From addressing justification and rationalization to the role of accountability, Jackie and Rachel offer insights into the vital components that set the stage for long-term sobriety and deep recovery. Whether you're a therapist or someone at the beginning of a recovery journey, this conversation serves as a reminder of the importance of revisiting the basics.  Tune in to explore how early steps pave the way for meaningful change and lasting growth.

 

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

That question has been on my mind after two clients asked me to record this episode.

For some of us, touch meant comfort and safety.

For others, it meant obligation, manipulation, or even fear.

Some of us grew up in families that hugged all the time. Others rarely experienced physical affection. And sometimes, it wasn't the presence or absence of touch that mattered most—it was what that touch came to mean.

In this episode, I explore:
 What our families teach us about touch
 Why healthy relationships respect "not yet"
 How our earliest experiences become our first map of relationships
 Why our adaptations made sense—and why they don't have to define us
 How healing happens one safe relationship at a time

 

One of the ideas I keep coming back to is this:

Children don't just survive their families. They mistake their families for the whole world.

The good news is that our first map doesn't have to be our final one.

I'd love to hear from you:

What did touch teach you about relationships growing up?

 Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

 

#Attachment #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #Relationships #EmotionalHealth #Therapy #MentalHealth #ChildhoodTrauma #Connection #Boundaries #PersonalGrowth #ThanksForSharingPodcast  

Changing your patterns doesn't just change you. It changes the relationships around you.

 

One of the biggest surprises in healing is that being healthier doesn't always feel better, at least not at first. The people around you have learned the old dance just as much as you have. So when you stop over-explaining, caretaking, shutting down, or apologizing for everything, the relationship often wobbles before it finds a new rhythm.

That doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.

It means the choreography is changing.

In this final episode of my four-part series, we explore:
• Why healthy change can create tension
• How family systems respond when you break old rules
• Why other people's reactions don't have to determine your growth
• How to stay grounded in your second response, even when others aren't sure what to do with the new you

One of the biggest lessons I've had to learn is this:

Being needed isn't the same as being loved.

Changing that belief didn't just change me; it changed the expectations inside some of my relationships. Growth doesn't happen in isolation. It happens one relationship at a time.

 Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch the full episode on YouTube.

 Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

 

#Healing #Relationships #Attachment #TraumaRecovery #NervousSystem #Differentiation #FamilySystems #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealth #Therapy #CouplesTherapy #Boundaries #EmotionalHealth #ThanksForSharingPodcast 

You can understand your pattern completely. You can know exactly where it came from, what it's protecting you from, why it shows up the way it does. And still, in the moment, you do the thing anyway.

That's because understanding a pattern and interrupting it are two different skills. And interrupting it and actually replacing it — building something to put in its place — that's a third skill entirely. That's what this episode is about.

The second response isn't a version of you that shows up once you've healed enough. It's a direction. Something small and specific and chosen, built from a value you actually hold, practiced in moments that don't matter so that it's available when they do.

This week: what do you keep losing when the pattern wins? That answer is usually pointing straight at what you're building toward. 

 

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

Understanding your patterns is one thing. Interrupting them in real time is something else entirely. In this episode, we talk about the tiny space between the trigger and the reaction — and how to find it, use it, and slowly make it bigger.

 

 Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

 

Why can you understand your behaviors and still repeat them: You can explain exactly why you do it. And then you do it again.

 

That's not a character flaw. It's the difference between insight and integration, and they are not the same thing.

In this episode, I'm talking about why understanding your patterns doesn't automatically change them, what's actually happening in your nervous system when insight isn't enough, and the real mechanisms that create lasting change — including corrective experience, practicing in activated states, and why repair might be the most underestimated part of healing.

If you've ever thought "I know this stuff, so why do I keep doing it?" — this one's for you.

 [link in bio]

 Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

 

I said that in a men's group a few years ago — and the room went silent.

Everyone immediately understood what it meant to organize your life around being needed. What surprised me was what came next: when I introduced the idea of being chosen — freely, without obligation — some of the men weren't just skeptical. They weren't sure relationships like that actually existed.

They had seen duty. Obligation. Dependence. But they weren't sure they'd ever witnessed two fully functioning adults who simply wanted each other.

This episode is about the difference between being needed and being loved — and what it costs us when we confuse the two.

New episode is live. Link in bio.

 Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

#attachmenttheory #codependency #relationships #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #therapy #beingneeded #beingloved #securelove #selfworth

"All behavior makes sense. And if it doesn't make sense yet — we keep asking questions until it does."

This is one of the phrases I say most in my work, and in this episode I'm unpacking where it actually came from. Not grad school. Life.

I'm sharing two stories that changed how I see people — one from a cassette tape in my car, and one from a borrowed office and a father who asked me point-blank what he smelled like. Both of them taught me the same thing: behavior doesn't live in a vacuum. It lives inside a context. And once you understand the context, almost everything makes sense.

This one is for therapists, parents, and anyone who has ever written someone off before they understood them — including themselves.

New episode is live. Link in bio. 

#podcast #therapist #mentalhealth #curiosity #allbehaviormakessense #therapy #selfawareness #attachmenttheory #nervoussystem #healing

 

 

 Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

 

 

 

In this episode, we explore the difference between values and beliefs — and why that distinction matters so deeply in healing, recovery, relationships, and identity.

We talk about:
• Survival beliefs formed in childhood
• The gap between who you want to be and what feels possible
• Compliance-based identities
• Emotional reality being deprioritized in families and systems
• Why coping patterns often hide deeper values
• The voices from the past that still shape how we live and love
• And how healing is often the process of finding your way back to yourself

This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered:
“Is this actually who I am… or just who I had to become?”

 Listen now on Thanks for Sharing.

 

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

 

#healing #traumahealing #attachment #betrayaltrauma #therapy #mentalhealth #selfawareness #relationships #innerchildhealing #recovery #emotionalhealth #psychology #healingjourney #codependency #jackiepack