Thanks for Sharing

 

Jackie and Jon get personal and share some of their favorite personal dating fails.  While the stories are awkward and painful (if not a little embarrassing) there is a silver lining- Jon and Jackie got better at having good close connected relationships, and you can too.  Take a listen to learn how.

Jon and Jackie take a look at the merging of two separate people and cultures when a new relationship is formed.  In this episode, we explore some of the gifts recovery gives us prior to "feeling the pull" to enter new relationships.

We are excited to have Maia Szalavitz on today to talk about her new book The Unbroken Brain.

 

Maia Szalavitz is one of the premier American journalists covering addiction and drugs. She is co-author of Born for Love and The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, both with Dr. Bruce D. Perry. Her book, Help at Any Cost is the first book-length exposé of the “tough love” business that dominates addiction treatment. She writes for TIME.com, VICE, the New York Times, Scientific American Mind, Elle, Psychology Today and Marie Claire among others.

 

Maia sheds light on understanding addiction as a learning disorder rather than a brain disease as well as the key connection between addiction and love.  You won't want to miss this episode.

Jackie and Jon examine the often confusing and arbitrary "relationship stages" we all expect to go through in every single one of our romantic relationships.  We will take a look at questions like:

"Should I ever date friends?"

"How do I learn to listen to my intuition in my romantic relationships?"

"When is it the right time to 'move to the next level'?"

"How do I know when it's time to get out?"

 

Jackie and Jon follow up on a nugget from a previous episode where we mentioned that authenticity was not expressed in emotionally vomiting.  Today, we talk about what goes into living and expressing the self authentically.  We discuss if authenticity always feels good, and common short-cuts to authenticity.

We recently received an email from a listener who is a male partner of a female sex addict.  He rightly observed that there are some special challenges in healing in those circumstances.

 

We are dedicating this epsiode today to examine why it can be extra painful for men who are with female sex addicts to get the help and support they may need.

 

We also mentioned resources for male sex addicts looking for qualified therapists to help them.  www.sexhelp.com and https://www.apsats.org/specialists#!directory/map are good places to start.

We welcome Amy Smith with Worth Recovery on again (You can hear her on Episode 58) to talk about our joint venture One Layer Deeper.  We are excited to announce these weekend intensives focused on taking your relationships in recovery one layer deeper.

 

You can learn more about One Layer Deeper by visiting our website www.onelayerdeeper.com.

 

In this episode, we explore some practical dos and don'ts for dating in recovery, the role of artificial timelines, and the question of dating other people in recovery.

We talk with our friend and returning guest Mari Lee about current affairs and why so much emotion is evoked around large issues like #metoo, politics, guns, and the like.

 

Mari mentioned a blog post in this episode.  This is the link: http://www.thecounselorscoach.com/practice-business-building-ideas-counselor-blog/worship-narcissistic-therapist-leaders

 

Jackie and Mari also mentioned a quote from David Bowie- here it is in its entirety.

 

“And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations.
They're quite aware of what they're going through.

- Changes”

In recent years, the world has been done a giant service by getting a deeper view of shame and how it affects us and our relationships.  Awareness on this is becoming more and more mainstream.

 

Along with this awareness can come a tendency to paint with a broad brush and to rely on soundbites rather than a careful exploration of a complicated issue.

 

In this episode, Jackie and Jon take another look at shame and discuss situations where guilt (others like Pia Melody have called it healthy shame) is useful in recovery.  Don't be quick to paint with a broad brush- we've continued to keep the experience of shame in our social evolution and in our DNA.

 

We've been hard at work on some additional resources for our friends in recovery- so you aren't getting a fresh Thanks for Sharing today- but you are getting something new.

 

This is Episode 3 of our side project: The Hidden Trauma Crash Course.  All existing episodes are now available in iTunes and Google Play and we will soon be launching the HTCC website.  

 

Let us know what you think (thanksforsharingpodcast@gmail.com) - we're looking forward to being back next week with something new.