Thanks for Sharing

Episode 362: Why We Lie and How to Start Being Honest

Most people think lying is a choice. But for many people, it doesn’t even pass through conscious thought. It starts in the body.

 A flush
 A tightening
 A sense of threat

And the truth doesn’t feel like an option.

In this episode, I talk about something I often say:

 “I came by my dishonesty honestly.”

Not to excuse it—
but to understand it.

Because for many of us:

 

• Truth didn’t always feel safe
• Being fully seen felt risky
• And connection sometimes depended on what we didn’t say

 And for partners?

Dishonesty doesn’t just hurt. It makes you question reality.

 Was any of this real?
 Have they just been telling me what I want to hear?

Wanting honesty isn’t controlling. It’s about trying to build a relationship on something real.

 Here’s what I’ve learned:

As the truth reveals itself, it can be very painful. But it also settles you. It settles your nervous system. Because you’re no longer trying to hold together something that doesn’t quite fit.

If this resonates, this episode is for you.

 

 Link in bio  

Comment “truth” if this resonated 

 

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

Episode 361: Patriarchy, Relationships, and Healing (Guest Appearance on The Wholeness Network)

In this episode, I share a conversation I had as a guest on The Wholeness Network, where we talk about patriarchy—not as a buzzword, but as something that quietly shapes how we love, how we show up, and what we believe we’re allowed to need.

This shows up in my work all the time:
• men who were never taught emotional depth but are expected to create connection
• women who carry the weight of relational responsibility
• couples who personalize patterns that are actually bigger than both of them

And here’s the tension:
even when the system shaped us… healing is still personal.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same relational patterns and couldn’t quite explain why—this conversation might give you language for that.

 Full episode at the link in bio

 

The Wholeness Network link:  https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/

 

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

Episode 360: When Healing Feels Incomplete

People don’t leave therapy because it’s not working. Sometimes they leave because it’s getting too close to what matters.

And sometimes… they stay. But still feel like something is missing.

You might:

• understand your patterns
• have more awareness
• even be making progress

…but not actually feel different.

That’s not failure. It’s the difference between insight and integration. In this episode, I talk about:

• why “being ready” isn’t enough
• why trauma work requires preparation, not just willingness
• how going too fast can actually reinforce the problem
• why addicts and betrayed partners need different pacing
• and why the relationship—not just the model—matters

Healing doesn’t happen just because you go into the trauma.

It happens when your system can stay open long enough for something new to take hold.

If you’ve ever thought:
“I’ve done a lot of work… so why does this still feel incomplete?”

This episode is for you.

 Link in bio

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

Episode 359: Why does America respond differently to scandals like the Epstein case?

We keep asking: How could this happen?

But maybe the better question is…
Why are we still surprised?

When the Epstein files resurfaced, I saw a lot of shock, even in professional circles. Names people admired. People who built identities around wisdom, healing, or influence.

I texted my friend Rachel and asked, “Are you surprised?”
Her response:
“I am never surprised when a male spiritual guru, leader, or pastor turns out to be a sexual predator.”

That stopped me.  Because I wasn’t surprised either.

But what did surprise me was America’s response.

Why does the conversation here so quickly become political, fragmented, or avoidant?
Why do we focus on individuals instead of systems?
Why do we struggle to hold power accountable—especially when it’s wrapped in wealth, status, or influence?

In this episode, we explore:

• Why Americans may respond differently than other countries

• The psychology of protecting powerful people

• How systems (families, institutions, even nations) often protect themselves first

• And why this isn’t just about Epstein—it’s about all of us

Because the real question isn’t just who did what…It’s what do we do when we see it?

 Episode now live

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

#epsteinfiles #powerandcontrol #traumainformed #psychologypodcast #healingjourney #betrayaltrauma #relationships #mentalhealthawareness #therapistsofinstagram #systemsthinking #culturalpsychology 

Episode 358: Why He Shuts Down When Emotions Show Up

Sometimes relationships fall into a confusing pattern.  Things feel connected for a while. Conversations are easier. You feel hopeful.  And then emotions show up: hurt, stress, vulnerability, and suddenly the other person shuts down.

Many partners assume this means the person doesn’t care.

But often what’s happening is something different.

In this episode, Jackie talks about a pattern she sees frequently in couples called emotional cycling — when someone can access connection for a time but struggles to sustain it when emotional intensity increases.

The good news is that emotional capacity can be learned.  Real intimacy doesn’t happen when emotions are avoided.  It happens when two people learn how to face them together.

 Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

https://www.speakpipe.com/ThanksForSharing

Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

#relationshiphealth
#emotionalintelligence
#couplestherapy
#attachmenthealing
#mentalhealthpodcast
#emotionalgrowth
#relationships
#healingrelationships

Episode 357 | Episode 5 in the Pornography Use, Addiction & Healing Series:

Recovery isn’t dramatic most of the time. It isn’t big breakthroughs. It isn’t intense motivation. It isn’t one powerful decision that fixes everything.

It’s steady. It’s going to bed when you’d rather “steal time.” It’s feeling shame without escaping it.  It’s waking up at 3 a.m. and choosing not to spiral. It’s resisting the urge to future-trip and instead staying in this hour. It’s calling your spouse when you want to isolate. It’s saying, “I need to go through this,” instead of numbing it.

Steady isn’t exciting. But steady builds resilience.

And over time, what once felt haunting begins to quiet, not because life is perfect, but because you’re no longer running from yourself.

Episode 357 is live.

If you’re in the middle of the long game… this one is for you.

 

 Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

Episode 356: Rebuilding After Secrecy: Why Sobriety Alone Doesn’t Fix the Relationship

What actually happens after sobriety begins?

Many couples believe that once porn or addictive behaviors stop, the relationship should feel better right away. But for many people, that’s when a deeper layer of healing starts — emotional awareness, reconnecting with the authentic self, and learning how to rebuild safety, security, and trust.

In this episode, I talk about what rebuilding really looks like — both individually and relationally. 

Sobriety removes secrecy — but reconnection grows through emotional presence, consistency, and learning how to show up differently with each other over time.

If you’re in the stage where recovery has begun but the relationship still feels fragile, this conversation is for you.

 Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode?

You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations. 

https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

Episode 355: Porn, Compartmentalization, and the Secret Self

What happens to the self when parts of life begin living in secrecy?

In this episode of the Thanks for Sharing podcast, we move beyond behavior and beyond relationship impact to explore how porn can shape identity, emotional development, and connection.

We talk about:
• how compartmentalization forms in the brain and nervous system
• why dopamine can reinforce a “secret self”
• what young men need to understand about relational risk and resilience
• how partners often sense misalignment long before discovery
• the difference between shame and responsibility
• and how healing begins through development of the authentic self

This episode is part of an ongoing series:
Episode 1 — Regulation & the brain
Episode 2 — Relational impact & betrayal
Episode 3 — Development of the self (this episode)

 Have a question or thought? I’ve added a place in my Linktree where you can send a message or leave a voicemail for a future episode. (you can stay anonymous)

 Listen now — link in bio.

#ThanksForSharingPodcast #AuthenticSelf #AttachmentHealing #PornRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #TherapyPodcast #MentalHealthEducation #HealingJourney

 

Episode 354: Porn, Predictability, and Relational Capacity: Porn is often framed as a private habit or a personal struggle. But its impact is rarely private.

 

In this episode, we explore how porn reshapes relationships, not just behavior.

We talk about how porn:

• quietly reorganizes relationships around absence

• impacts the partner’s nervous system and sense of safety

• often feels like cheating, even when there’s no physical affair

• contributes to loneliness, emotional withdrawal, and loss of self in partners

• shapes expectations of intimacy and attitudes toward women

• creates predictability that looks like safety—but isn’t

We also explore why time alone doesn’t build security in relationships and why repair, not perfection, actually creates safety.

This conversation isn’t about blame or shame.  It’s about understanding why things feel the way they do and what helps people rebuild capacity for intimacy, presence, and connection.

Whether you’re navigating porn use, supporting a partner, or trying to make sense of distance in your relationship, this episode offers language for experiences that are often difficult to name. 

 

Episode 353: What Porn Actually Does to the Brain: Porn isn’t just about sex, it’s about the brain.

In this episode, we explore why porn is so compelling, why willpower usually fails, and why intelligent, caring people struggle with it even when it conflicts with their values or relationships. This conversation moves beyond shame and into understanding how novelty, dopamine, attachment, and emotional regulation intersect, and why real change starts with compassion, not control.