Balance is ever-elusive for most of us. Functional adults have the ability to come from a centered place rather than the extremes. Jon and Jackie touch on some of the key moments in the growth of their therapy practice and learning to recognize what keeps them coming from the center.
The prompt for this episode is packed with many meaningful things to look at and to consciously work on. It has to do with taking responsibility for what you need and want and being able to responsibly fulfill your needs and wants. Jackie and Jon focus on the skill of asking for help and discuss anti-dependence vs. codependency.
Pia Mellody talks about funcional adults being able to own their own reality and to share it politically. In this episode- we dive into what exactly that means and why it is such a critical skill for emotional health. Jackie makes the distinction between reality and truth as we discuss how it feels to be grounded in our own reality while recognizing that reality may not be shared by others.
Jon and Jackie continue to discuss Pia Melody's concept of the functional adult. In this episode we explore the ability to set boundaries which limit external reality and which protect others from our internal reality when it can be harmful to them. This episode further develops what we talked about in our recent two part series on boundaries.
Jon and Jackie draw on ideas originally presented by Pia Mellody (http://www.piamellody.com/) in a lecture she gave about shame. This episode focuses on the ability that functional adults have to experience appropriate levels of self-esteem and to affirm themselves from within. We look at some of the basic ways that esteem develops- in adulthood and childhood, as well as how to use affirmation that goes beyond what Stuart Smalley taught us in the 1980's
Interestingly, Al Frankin- who played Stuart Smalley- got the idea for the character from attending Al-Anon Meetings for himself.
Do your boundaries need some brushing up? Jon and Jackie start a two part conversation about boundaries, what they are and why they are so important to recovery and mental health in general. This episode focuses on physical boundaries.
Shame is a complicated and ever-present experience in recovery. Our initial instinct is to shrink away and not experience it. Early addiction and trauma thinkers talked about the concept of healthy shame- and in this episode, Jon and Jackie dissect that concept to explore why shame exists and how it doesn't have to be debilitating.
Healthy sexuality in recovery is not as easy as just stopping what is dangerous or disconnecting. Jackie and Jon talk about thoughts sparked by a recent session with a couple in long-term recovery. Starting to get healthy in relationships means putting a deeper focus on yourself and paying attention to what is happening with your body from moment to moment.
Sometimes recovery can feel harder than it looks like it should be. Jon and Jackie take a look at why it might be that people feel like they get stuck having the same conversations or experiences the same way with the same results. Welcome to Poly Vagal Theory!
We mentioned this youtube video in the podcast- if you want a chuckle at a song about the Poly Vagal nerve- this may be the only song ever written about it https://youtu.be/hCCNv3P7jUs.
We also want to make sure to cite Stephen Porges- the author of Poly Vagal Theory. You can learn more about him and his work at http://stephenporges.com/